an apology and a sample

Hi everyone.... I'm sorry I haven't posted anything in a few months, #writerfail as we say on Twitter.  I've been spending a lot more time online, looking at other writers websites and blogs and mine just looks so shabby and silly in comparison.  I can't currently afford to have a professional website designed for myself so I sort of lost my spark for my blog.  Like real life, first appearances matter, and honestly--when you first see my blog, it looks ridiculous compared to all the professionals out there.  It doesn't give the message that I'm serious.  I'll take this experience blogging as a warm-up for the website & blog I hope to be able to get up and running before the end of this year.  But for now, I'm still working away on my story, pouring almost all of my energies into wrapping it up, and very pleased with how it's coming along.

This morning I did a writing warm up on this woman's blog: http://www.writeawayeveryday.blogspot.com/ and it was a lot of fun.  I'm posting my 250ish :) word 'story' below, but please go see her blog and her picture prompts and see what it does for you!

He stood beside her, silent, unseen, staring down with her at the ragged strip of orange rubber from an exploded balloon that sat so innocently on dusk-darkened blades of grass. Tears tracked shining lines down the centers of her cheeks and dripped from her jaw. She lifted her head, stared sightlessly into the darkening trees standing around her, and swallowed. Without another glance to the balloon fragment, she started walking.
He followed her like a shadow.
The night summer breeze kissed her hair and scattered her brown bangs across her forehead. She didn’t reach up to fix them as she walked through the darkening park and towards the river churning a couple dozen feet away. Her hands curled into the wire fence dividing the park from the water and she stuffed her sneaker toes into the holes as she began to climb.
He was waiting on the other side when she dropped to the ground and followed her as she followed the water. Ahead, it was louder, dropping over the side of a dam. They stopped together and stared down at the shimmering water, one of the brightest points of the park in this semi-darkness.
Don’t do this, he told her. Just wait. Your life can be like those happy peoples’ lives someday. You just have to make it that way.
“I am the balloon,” she murmured to the thickening darkness and climbed the fence that denied the dam to the public. Without slowing her steps, she stepped off of the concrete ledge.
A short while later she stood beside him and they stared together at the shining, tumbling water, and the dark obstruction broken against the rocks below.

Thanks for sticking with me!

Writing Difficulties

I've been struggling to do what I love for the past few months so naturally I've been wondering....what the hell is the problem?  I love the handful of stories I've been juggling and the stories' characters.  Friends and Twitter friends I've bounced my thoughts and ideas off of think that I've got some great stories.  Not writing makes me unhappy.  So why can't I WRITE my stories?  I mean I've been writing every day of my life since forever.  I still plan on going to college to better my craft and I still intend on seeing my books on the romance shelves in Borders stores someday.  So what the hell is the problem?  Over the past few days I've gotten a mild grasp on at least part of it. 

I'm losing my motivation.  Why?  Because I'm still writing for myself.  I want to share my stories, but there isn't anyone demanding them.  So I have no pressure to hit my daily word count goal.  Since I'm a Plotter and not a Pantser, I already know my stories.  Spending hours sitting on my butt typing is starting to appeal to me less and less as the sun shines.  Yes....I'm weak....you are too so don't be so judgmental. 

Published authors have agents and readers awaiting their next book.  Right now, I'm still writing for me.  I don't even have a critique group to snap that whip.  And it's a large part of why I'm so looking forward to taking writing classes at Southern New Hampshire University and joining the Creative Writing Club--I'll have deadlines.  I've heard before that deadlines are important for an author, but now that I've fallen off of the dream trail so to speak, I realize how truly important they are.

I know I want to finish two manuscripts for this October.  I know that I want to be published before I graduate college with a second manuscript accepted.  But both of those are very loose deadlines.  So I need to tighten up my goals.  I currently have a daily word count goal of 3k words that I've not even been close to hitting.  So--how am I going to find the trail again?  I'm going to whip my Muse and me back into shape.  Forget about the morning stretches, I'll get up while it's still quiet and dark and submerge myself in whichever one of my main manuscripts reaches for me first.  I'm going to start using Dr. Wicked's Write or Die website http://writeordie.drwicked.com/ so that I definitely hit my daily word count goal.  I'm going to finally join the New Hampshire Romance Writers of America so I'm among my own kind and that should do the trick of keeping me en route until the fall semester rolls around.  Generally, all anyone needs is a little push, but we're usually pushed in too many directions by too many different things.  I'm an extremely stubborn person, I can push back.  I won't be lost.

"Don't be pushed by your problems.  Be led by your dreams."  -Anonymous

Quick Updates

First things first: I'm still alive.  Fantastic, I know you're all very relieved.  I am a terrible, terrible person to ignore my blog for several months.  Sorry.  At least I've been writing, though.  I have several stories I'm very excited for and I hope to have two finished by October. 

Alright so some quick updates: I got accepted into Southern New Hampshire University's Creative Writing program!!  I'm EXTREMELY excited to transfer in the fall.  I can't waite to join the Creative Writing club, take the classes, and really focus on my craft.  After several months of not hearing back from the editor of Crescent Moon press I shot off an e-mail to check on my submission.  Turns out it was lost in cyber space and they asked me to resubmit.  Basically, I'm very excited about my stories, I'm very excited about taking writing classes, living on campus, being with other people who want to write and be published--it's a big loop of excitement for me.